I love the feeling that every day we talk, every night we tell each other 'i love you.. always? always. forever? forever.', my love for him only grows. When we can sit and talk for hours, and then fall asleep on the phone. Or when we can sit on the phone and just not say anything..Or have such random conversations, that always have us asking 'how the hell did we get on this topic!?'. Making plans to go to Central Park Zoo, well technically, he doesn't only want to go to see penguins, but whatever!
point being is, we're so good together. for the first time, this is a relationship that i've been in where i feel that both parties are giving equal amount of effort. Equal in everything honestly..
gosh, the only thing i would change about our relationship, is us seeing eachother a little bit more. you know? like what couple doesn't want that, in some type of way.
we're both really busy, and have other priorties going on, so I can't even be mad at that.
I talked to my ex today, my first love.
it was a decent conversation, but by the end, I was happy. Happy in the sense of, like.. I'm glad things happened the way it did.
You know, before there were thoughts of like, 'yeahhh, where did we go wrong?', 'i wonder if we'll get back together...'
I don't ever think like that anymore. But don't get me wrong, my mind crosses him once and awhile, but it's more like I wonder what he's up to.
Recently, I did think about the time we were together, and all i could think about was how unhappy i was, compared to how i am now. I mean technically i was a totally different person, but at the end of the day, the relationship we had wasn't healthy, and it took me a long time to realize that.
Being with my ex, really taught me what i needed in a relationship, what i was/wasn't going to deal with, what i wanted in a partner. being with him taught me about myself most importantly. I changed a bunch from when i first met him.
Right now, i'm happy with the way things turned out. And i couldn't be anymore happier for him. He's in love too, and when is that ever a bad thing?
P.
i just.. sigh. i just don't know how to even explain how much i love him.
i'm really grateful to be with someone who understands me..
and even when he doesn't quite get it, the effort is always there.
i'm grateful for having someone that tries to fix the problem with me,
then to sit on the sidelines and complain.
he never gives up on anything that's important to me, to us.
it's like, if it's the best thing for the relationship, then why not?
never any stress, never any bullshit.
i don't remember a time in my life, that i was ever this happy with the way things were going, and i know deep down, there will be times that things aren't always this good, but it doesn't even matter, because i know it'll get back to what it is right now.
i said after my ex, i wouldn't get stuck on ANY dude again.
who knew, that i was so wrong?
besides, he's not just ANY dude.. feel me?
he's mine, and I love him in more ways what could be explained.
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