[sigh] so..

i said in 2009 there would be a change, i wasn't kidding.

i can't really specify what i'm talking about, but who tf cares? it's my blog, i'll do shit my way.
so anyway, i took the first step into doing what was right, for me. well, not only right, but what was needed to be done. it's been yrs, that i've been trying to finish this one thing, like completely kicking myself in the ass, as every year followed.
I got a phone call about 11am, and it kind of hit me like, why the hell am i procrastinating? I need to move on from this, it's not what i'm suppose to be doing.
and i know this doesn't make much sense, but whatever. i feel kind of free for the moment..
I contemplated every move after this one, and you know what? it's like i didn't. it feels way different from what i expected.. i don't really know what i expected honestly, but yeah it feels different.
this NEEDED to be done, in order for me to move on with my life. I'm not trying to be stuck in a hole for the rest of my life.. I felt trapped.. and I couldn't let myself feel like that anymore. it's not fair to do that to myself.
and you know what?
i know people are gonna talk shit, and i'm going to be a disappointment to a vast amount. Honestly, i swear to God, I don't care. as I said before, happiness is not one size fits all.
I only care what I think about myself.. and kinda what P. thinks.
God willing, this will be the start of more good things to come.
I have to do for self for now on, this was just the start of it..
I came in '09 with a clear, focused mind.
It needs to stay exactly like that.